Co-pas from Revert Muslimah Blog
Almost 5 years she converted to Islam, masyaAllah Jamilah has learned a lot about knowledge of Islam. Below she replied someone's comment (Sara) on her blog, a revert muslimah too. Sara also asked for Jamila's advice about her marriage problem on Islamic view.
Just sharing a story I have heard from my good friend, a pakistani lady...she told me about her british female friend, a revert muslimah who married with a pakistani man. First their marriage life was fine, Allah swt blessed them with 5 children masyaAllah...and the wife wore hijab and practiced her obligation as muslimah. She preferred to stay at home for taking care family than doing something useless outside, she performed shalat, did fasting etc... but later on...they decided to divorce because her husband got a bad temperamental and starting to hit his wife and children. Though she was divorced but she didn't want to leave her new religion. She understood that Islam was the right path, she was grateful to Allah for His huda showed through her ex husband. If finally their marriage ended, it was only a part of test from Allah. Alhamdulillah she could passed the test without giving up and stopping worshiping Allah. Otherwise she always tried to increase her faith to Allah by seeking knowledge of Allah through Al Qur'an, As sunnah and scholars, halaqah and sisters & brothers in Islam who helped and supported her...she felt that she got strength from Allah to face tests and trials given by Allah ....masyaAllah...She kept teaching and educating her children in Islamic way in UK. MasyaAllah...laa quwwata illah billah...May Allah give us strength to be istiqomah too...to keep going in the straight path...ameen.
I believe I may also be caught up in a similar mess,
I'm so confused. I reverted to Islam three years ago, after I married my husband and found out we were expecting.
I did not want our child to grow up confused or with two religions, I studied and read allot! and in my transition I truly felt I had found the right path. In fact I still believe it. But it is so hard to be a Muslim revert when society does not accept you. Every says "Subhana Allah" and "MashaAllah" & "Alhamdulila" and say how wonderful that I found the right path. They even call me sister. But would they feel the same if I had married into their family? I am a Mexican American born and raised in Chicago as a catholic, I am also divorced with three children prior to my marriage. My children also reverted and are learning Quran and how to live Islamic lives. they are not and have not been confused because I had never taught them religion, until now. My husband is Pakistani, his family does accept me or my children and they are still continuously trying to separate us. Unfortunately my husband has not made his stand with them because he does not want to hurt them anymore, and this I understand. But they unfortunately see it as our marriage being a passing phase for him. I have been mistreated, humiliated, stepped on by his family and friends and now my husband is going astray. How do I continue believing if I am surrounded by hypocrites? How do I raise my children to believe in Islam when we are treated so unfairly? My husband was supposed to be a good role model for my boys and he has failed me and them. I now have two daughters with my husband and yes his family See's them every weekend I sacrifice letting them go knowing I can't even call to check up on them. Now I'm afraid of getting divorced and losing my daughters. It's so hard to come across people who are true and do not put society before religion. How is Islam supposed to spread if if the majority of the people have the mentality of "you can be my sister, but not my daughter"? Why do these Muslim men bring women to Islam than leave them hanging? why are they forgiven but we condemned if we go back to our previous religion? I gave everything up in the name of Islam and have been a very pious wife, I have been very patient, but I have also cried many tears I have prayed for my husbands family despite their actions towards me and now I find myself so confused? How do I raise my children in such a bias society? I truly hope I have not offended you, I speak purely of my life experience's. Your advice would be appreciated. Salaams
Sara
From your words I can tell that you have a very good understanding of what you believe and understand about Islam. Allah tests those whom he loves, and it seems he loves you very much!
The issues that are happening with your husband's family are cultural, and it happens a lot in Muslim families that don't listen to the Prophet when he said that no race or nationality is superior over another. Some Muslim parents think still that they get to choose who their child marries, and that is just not the case.
The only thing I can suggest is to turn to Allah swt, ask for help and guidance for you and for your in-laws. The other thing that usually helps a lot is knowledge. If you have Quran and Sunnah to back yourself up with, no one can argue with you. Start to look for things that will help you explain to your husband what you are going through and have 'back up' from Quran and sunnah to support your points.
Please sister, don't let this shake your faith in Islam. You are right about it being the true path. All of these road blocks are just there to test you, and I get the feeling you are strong enough to get through it...inshallah.